The consistency of a life

There are those suffering in front of you whose pain you want to heal. It is torturous to see them knowing that regardless of medical advancements, there is no guarantee relief for their back aches or ease from the restrictions of their diabetic diet that controls their love of food. They cannot go back to the life they once knew, eat what they want, be as active as they were or be pain free. They can not play baseball as they did or have that piece of cake that once completed the meal.  Their life is different and as age and declining health frustrate them, it causes unhappiness.

My brother died last week. He was only 64 but within those 64 years, there were restrictions that crept up without warning. One day, you find you can’t have sugar or salt. Next day, you find your movements aren’t as easy as they use to be. You might have a chance of overcoming these changes if you are strong enough. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life. It just means life is different. Or you can ignore them and hope they go away.

I think our choices of friends and relationships vary in order to satisfy a part of you but not all of you. My brother hit the part of me that needed consistency. I knew he would always be there. He was in my life longer than anyone else. He was a big man with an even bigger heart. He collected super hero comic books, and baseball cards from the early 60s. He not only was a Yankee fan from as far back as Mantle and Maris but stood loyal through their decline. I’m so glad he enjoyed seeing the team through better times.

He died sooner than I would have liked but I’m glad he isn’t in pain any more. I’m in pain missing you, but that is alright. I have fond memories of our childhood together and beyond. I hope you are comfortable now and are watching the Yankees.




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